Today I had a nearly magical experience. It was the sort of thing that plasters a smile on your face that you simply can’t control. A big ear to ear smile of joy.
I was able to button pants with a 34 inch waist. While wearing them. J
They were snug. Too snug to buy. But I buttoned them. I haven’t been able to wear a 34 waist in 30 years or more.
I bought some 36 waist pants and some large shirts. Large. Not XXL, not even XL. Simple, plain, ordinary LARGE.
The experience of putting on the 34 waist pants was incredible. Buttoning them and still being able to breathe… I could not stop smiling. I am so happy about this…
As I type this I am wearing my new 36 inch waist jeans and a new large-sized red pocket-T.
When I started this Journey I was wearing a 46 and they were tight. Now I am wearing a 36 and they are loose. I had to buy them. The 40-waist pants I have been wearing were looking silly on me and the XL shirts were just ridiculous…
I am still, as I sit here, reveling in the nearness of getting to a 34 waist. I am sitting here and thinking about the distance traveled since I started this Journey last December. Wearing a large shirt. My goodness you can have no idea what that means to me. To not be fat. To wear clothes in sizes I wore when I was young and fit and trim… To know that this was what I set out for, to be fit and trim again, and to know that it is here, it is in my within my reach, it is there at my fingertips and I am there…
I was surprised by my reaction as I stood in the fitting room and I buttoned the pants. I saw in the mirror a man with a huge smile. A look of joy, exultation even spread across his face. I saw a lean man, a man who no one would call fat. A man who has set a goal and worked hard to achieve it. I saw me.
I honestly felt a lump in my throat. I felt emotional. I felt as though I wanted to shout in joy..
From a tight 46 to a loose 36. Buttoning a 34… Nearly 12 inches. TWELVE INCHES off my waist
I am still wrapping my head around this. I am still trying to grasp that after all the years of neglect I have turned a corner and I am fit and I am (nearly) trim and I am no longer the fat man in the room.
Two more pounds and I will get to the first goal. The 210-pound mark that I have had in front of me for these past seven plus months is just a few days away. And then I will set my mind to getting to 205 pounds so I can say I lost 100 pounds J
I fit in a 34 waist today. Snug, yes, but close enough to know that I will be there soon. I will soon be a 34 waist. I am now a loose 36. I know I keep saying it. I am saying it
because I am almost stunned by it. I was a 46 in December. A 46 with a stretch waist band. I was an XXL and they were getting snug.
I was fat
And I am not fat now.
And I am so emotional about this that I simply cannot find the words to express all that I feel.
I have lost nearly 93 and a half pounds.
Imagine what it is like to carry that around. Imagine how it feels to have that on your body. Imagine how it feels to be the fat person in the room. To be so aware of your size that you stand in the back, hide from the camera…
Imagine what it feels like when you see the looks you get from people. The self-consciousness of being stared at. Imagine what it feels like to be fat.
Now that weight is gone. 93.4 of the 95.6 pounds I have set out to lose. 2.2 pounds to the goal.
Imagine how this feels.
Imagine how liberated I feel.
I fit in a 34-waist today.
30 years since I last did.