A Fat Man's Journey (Working my way back…)

An Attempt to Journey from Fat to Fit in a Lifetime. Eat right, Eat less, Move more

Hard to Tell you How I Feel

11 Comments


The first time I was truly embarrassed about my weight was while looking at pictures taken at the Bat Mitzvah of my cousins daughter.

The picture that really got to me was a picture with my three siblings and my Uncle.

To this day, thinking about that picture hurts.. In the picture I am enormous. I am fat. I stand out as fat, out of shape…

It took me years to do anything about it. But that picture… It just hurts….

My weight bounced around over the years. Up a few down a very few, up a few more…

This is hard. It is hard to talk about even after all these months of writing this blog.

I hated who I was, who I had become. I hated the feeling of being fat, standing out for all the wrong reason, being winded by the simplest things, not enjoying life…

I guess everyone has their own pace, their own moments. I had to find the right time. I had the reach a point where I was truly ready to change my life and change my health for the better.

December 27, 2011 was that time.

I will not rehash here all that I have done in the last 225 days.

I will tell you that every bit of struggle, every bit of pain, fear, angst, anxiety, every nightmare has been worth it.

Today I stepped on the scale and it read 209.2. I have surpassed my goal. I have dropped below 210 pounds for the first time since my Freshman year of college. I have reached a level I thought I would never see again.

I thought at times that I was destined to be one of those guys that was fat. A guy that people would say he should have taken better care of himself, he might still be around. I don’t know why I was resigned to this. I don’t know why anyone with all that I have in life would accept the probability of an early death but there I was, neglecting my health, eating myself in to obesity, accepting the consequences without a fight.

I have searched deeply to find the reasons for this. Not sure that I have truly found the answers yet. I do know that something in me clicked on December 27, 2011. Something in me said it was time to fix this.

I am under 210 pounds.

I am fit.

I am ready to keep going, still deeply committed to this plan of mine, this Journey.

I did not celebrate. I had a nice dinner. Red cabbage and Kale with yellow squash and a salad. A 4-ounce piece of flounder in a mustard sauce. Nothing special. No mad dash for the cheese platter. No celebratory slice of pepperoni pizza. This is fine with me. I am happy tonight, almost to the point of tears. I am feeling an emotional relief, a sense of purpose and focus.

Today I stepped on the scale and it said 209.2.

I have made it to the first truly significant mile marker in my Journey.

No one can call me fat now. No one.

The numbers say it all

And this means the world to me.

Peace.

11 thoughts on “Hard to Tell you How I Feel

  1. What an accomplishment. You should, indeed, be proud of yourself.

  2. It’s an amazing feeling! congrats to you.

  3. Congratulations and happy celebratory ride on Saturday

  4. Congratulations!!

  5. Wonderful!! Enjoy the ride 🙂

  6. WOW! It seems like only yesterday that you were hoping to get under 225lbs. This next 15lbs seems to have just melted off. Though I know it’s really been a lot of work for you. Well done.

  7. Super! Congrats on reaching your goal & to continued success of your journey.

  8. Pingback: A Monday Post | A Fat Man's Journey (OK, not so fat now...)

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