A Fat Man's Journey (Working my way back…)

An Attempt to Journey from Fat to Fit in a Lifetime. Eat right, Eat less, Move more

Not One of my Better Days

4 Comments


A funny few moments at work

I have grown accustomed to the good-natured ribbing about my focus on eating right. Today we had a meeting with an unhappy customer and lunch was brought in. Nice sandwiches and bowls of pasta and potato salad and a tray of cookies.

I had half a turkey and Swiss sandwich. A light spread of deli mustard. No cookies, a ¼ cup of pasta salad. Water to drink. Then a little game of who got to have the cookies I wouldn’t eat.

Fun.

The customer has visited and met me before. Last September or late August. He introduced himself and said it was good to meet me. Then someone told him that he had met me last time he visited. His eyes grew wide. It was a fun moment.

We chatted about weight loss, cycling, running, eating right. The customers mood improved and the meeting went well from there. A side benefit of my Journey.

I am NOT Skinny

I am not skinny by the way. I wish I would stop being told I am. I am not talking about the endearing comments from friends and family who call me skinny mini or Slim or bones (a favorite). I am talking about the people who tell me I am skinny now and I should stop losing weight.

I am not skinny. I am 208 pounds. I am 6-foot 1 ¼ inches tall. I am not particularly muscular (though not devoid of muscle). I am not skinny. I am still 19 pounds heavier than the charts say I should be. I am still in the “Overweight” category of the Body Mass Index. Yes, I know it is a deeply flawed index but 18 or 19 pounds above the weight range for my height and age still says something….

I think that it is jarring to look at the THEN pictures and look at me as I am now. I think the difference is pretty dramatic and I think that is why it strikes people the way it does. Still, trust me. I am not skinny.

The Knee and Me

Planning is getting harder to do. With my knee still keeping me off the bike it is hard for me to plan my fitness. I am hiking tomorrow with PGB. A local trail and then out for Pizza as I have mentioned before.

I am curious to see how my knee responds to the hike. The doctor said it would be ok. We will see. When I first started to take little hikes with PGB I was slow because I was fat. PGB was patient and the hikes were reasonably short to allow me to not die from the effort.

Now I will be held back only by the condition of my knee not the condition of me.

That ain’t a bad thing all things considered.

I am dealing with the Black Dog right now. The knee, work, life in general. I am missing deeply a friend whose schedule combined with my schedule makes getting together difficult. I am also thinking much about my dear friend who if fighting a good fight. She will be fine. I know she will and everything I read tells me she will. Still I would like her to know that the warmth she feels in those quiet moments is me sending her a hug.

The Black dog is here also because sometimes I just don’t want to be with the world and the knee has me unable to ride and unable to feel that freedom from the world that riding gives me.

Sorry, feeling a little self-pity today.

I feel sorry for the rest of the World

Pizza is a New York thing. Sorry. You will have to deal with it. I have had sauce and cheese covered dough in at least the following States:

  • New York
  • New Jersey
  • Pennsylvania
  • Rhode Island
  • Maine
  • New Hampshire
  • Vermont
  • Washington State
  • Virginia
  • West Virginia
  • Florida
  • South Carolina
  • Illinois
  • Ohio
  • Connecticut
  • Massachusetts

No one gets it right except in the Tri-State Area of NY, NJ, CT. and CT only gets it right from about New Haven on west. A couple of places in eastern PA do a commendable job. They are invariably owned by ex-New Yorkers…

Chicago has a very good deep-dish meal they serve but it is a casserole, not a pizza.

I bring this up because I have not had pizza since sometime late last year and I am going to celebrate nearly 100 pounds down by having two plain slices (or maybe with veggies) and at one of the better pizza places in my area of NJ.

I am scared out of my mind.

This will be the first time I have added back, even briefly, food that I had stopped eating because of the negative effect it has on my ability to control my eating. It will be intersting…

Peace

4 thoughts on “Not One of my Better Days

  1. PGB will be taking it easy on the trail. Not because of his bad knees. He’s been having a lot of success with an approach to hiking that requires one to slow down and smell the balsam.

  2. OK You’re not skinny. But are you comfortable in your own skin? I was, when I hit a certain weight.
    I can’t for life of me think of who PGB is. lolol

    • It really isn’t a matter of being comfortable in my skin. For me it is a matter of perspective and working towards what is truly a healthy weight. Being told I am skinny is somewhat disorienting and works against what I am trying to do. I understand that the intent is good, or at least not bad, it is just as I said, disorienting….

      I think if you met a man of my height and my “frame” and my current weight, you would not think of him as skinny. You might think of him as fit, as needing to lose ten pounds, but not as skinny.

      I am aiming for 200 pounds and have 6-8 pounds to go (depending on when I step on the scale). At 200 pounds I will still not be skinny. Fit, lean, trim… Not skinny.

      Semantics can play emotional hell… 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s