A Surprising Sight
I was stunned yesterday. I stepped on the scale and saw that I have lost 105 pounds. I am now 200.6 pounds. Stunning.
I always had the belief that I would get my weight down to 210 pounds, my original goal. After the first two months, with the plan working well and the weight steadily dropping, I no longer doubted that I would eventually make it to 210. I didn’t expect it to happen as quickly as it did. I was certain, and I wrote about this many times, that the weight loss would slow to a trickle at some point. I expected that I would slowly lose momentum and my calorie intake would climb and I would see the weight loss stop or even reverse, I would get re-energized and I would attack anew.
The weight has continued to drop at 4/10th of a pound per day. Some days it goes up. Some days it drops more. It has stayed at about this pace since March.
Even today, having long ago reached my goal of 210 pounds, I am losing weight at a pace of around 2/10th of a pound per day. It has slowed because I have increased my calorie intake as I ramp up to a maintenance mode. Still, the weight is dropping and I am now looking forward to seeing a 1 as the first number in my weight and only two digits following 😉
I want to stop at between 195 and 200. That is now my goal. I know I know, I said that about 205 and 210, 200 and 205…..
So what is the issue here? Why do I keep lowering my goal weight? Because I know that even at 200 pounds I am heavy for my age and height and I want to not be that. I also know that winter is coming. Along with the knee keeping me less active, soon the winter will make sure I am less active as well. A little on the light side will be good. There is another aspect to this as well.
If I am not losing I might start gaining. That is an emotional hurdle I must overcome. Obviously I have to eventually hit a weight I will stay. I have promised myself and others that it will be 195-200. I am determined not to lower it again. Nor will I raise it.
I have promised myself a celebration when I see 199.
A Person I Remember, but only in a haze
When I was 17 I was cast in a play called “The Me Nobody Knows”. I played a street kid described in the script as dirty, undernourished, obviously hungry.
I was not that. I was middle-class suburban New Jersey.
So I starved myself. I lost 25 pounds from the day I was cast to opening night. My mother was beside herself.
I weighed about 150 pounds on opening night.
I will never see that weight again. I can remember it. I can picture it. It just seems like a haze. A memory that you are not really sure is yours. Not even sure it happened to you… If not for the pictures…..
I hope that this happens with having been fat. I hope it becomes a memory so distant, so foggy and grey that I wonder if it was even me. Looking at the pictures I hope I will say what I say about the pictures of the younger skinny me. I know it is me, I just don’t remember that person.
Fighting a head cold
Started coming down with this yesterday and today it is in full glory. I wouldn’t mind so much if it would at least dampen the appetite but instead I find when I have a cold I am hungrier than normal. I am better at resisting hunger than I was ten months ago but… I had a 700 calorie lunch and got myself all in a tizzy. SO I had a 400 calorie dinner and combined with breakfast I have a grand total of 1550 calories counted off today. I really need to relax.
Head colds make me hurt everywhere and I hate this.
Well, I am going to rest on the sofa.