Went to the Christmas Eve party last night.
The expected slack jawed OH MY HOW MUCH DID YOU LOSE comments, the one fellow who spent the evening denying I was the same person…..
That was fun.
Not fun was overeating. I nibbled at this and that and had two reasonable servings of food but in the end I realized that, swept up in the festivities of the evening, I had knocked down a nearly 4000 calorie day.
This is not what I wanted to happen and I am very unhappy with myself over it all.
To be sure, this was nowhere near the amount of food I ate last year when seeing my reflection at this party prompted me to begin the Journey. It is still a lack of control and focus that I do not allow and I am having to think long and hard about the how and the why that this happened.
I had already planned a long walk at the track today so that will happen and I started the day with a bowl of oatmeal with blueberries so that is a good start to the refocus. Most important is I have to focus on making this a onetime stumble and not a first step off the cliff.
As I approach the one year mark on this Journey of mine I am no closer to being able to relax and simply live my life without the extreme focus on controlling my food intake. I have always said this is a Journey without end. Last night serves as a stark reminder that it is a Journey with no rest.
Merry Christmas Friends.