I did not wake up one day, look in the mirror and have a sudden realization I was fat. I knew it. I knew it for years. I knew it when people told me I was a Big Guy, I knew it when people told me I carried the weight well, I knew it when I moved from 36 waist to 38, to 40, 42, 44, 46,….
I knew it while I was gaining the weight. I knew it when I would peel off 15 or 20 pounds. I knew I was fat even when I was “only” 30 pounds or 40 pounds or 50 pounds or 60 pounds overweight.
I knew I was fat and I knew I was out of shape.
I knew that I wanted to not be fat and that “someday” I would “Do something about it”.
I sat last night with Missus and three dear friends, the daughter, son, and daughter-in-law of my closest friend. We had a wonderful dinner of sushi and conversation. The daughter, PD, remarked that when I walked in it took her a brief moment to realize it was me. Her mental image of me is so different from the current reality. This got us talking about weight loss, healthy eating, changes.
I realized that for me it came in steps.
- I had to admit to myself that I was FAT.
Yes, I knew I was fat. That is simple fact. Intellectual, not emotional. I had to admit it to my emotional self. I had to deal with it in a very personal, very emotional way.
- I had to decide to do something about it.
Again, not at the intellectual level but at the emotional level.
- I had to decide what to do.
I didn’t want a DIET. I didn’t want the Cabbage Soup-hot sauce-lemon juice-apple vinegar-magic dust diet. I wanted change in life. I wanted a new approach to eating, something I could do for the rest of my life.
- I had to do it.
So here I am, fourteen months in to this, seven months at or below my goal weight. Still eating right, still working out, still talking and writing about the daily ups and downs, victories and defeats of this Journey of mine.
I enjoy the talking about it. Maybe a little too much. I get energized by talking about it and I am proud of what I have accomplished. I know firsthand how difficult this Journey is. I know that shedding 100+ pounds is not an easy or simple task and my Journey is unique to me.
The steps have been difficult. The Journey has at once been easy and trying, simple and difficult. What I have experienced and will continue to experience is unique to me and it will not be the same for others.
I will say this. No Journey begins until you take the first step.
Slipped a little
This past week, starting with Valentine’s Day and leading up to last night, Missus and I had dinner out 4 out of 5 nights. Would have been a sixth tonight but a prior commitment prevents that. I am glad to get back to home cooked meals starting with dinner tonight and for the next several weeks. While I do well controlling what I eat, the combination of good food and good conversation lowers my defenses and I have to admit that I over ate a bit the last several days. The scale reflects this in a couple of pound weight gain since a week ago and it is important that I get right back on plan. I cannot allow myself to drift so far from the plan…
Focus back now. Back to the proper eating and on track with the plan.
I am told warm weather is coming. That means back to the hikes, the walks, the BIKE RIDES!!! I can ride in anything above 45 degrees but I prefer it above 50…
I will not allow winter to be an excuse for weight gain. If I was able to continue the weight loss while unable to ride or hike with the knee injury I am not going to allow winter to be the “reason” for weight gain. Still comes down to calories in versus calories out….
Back on plan, back on the elliptical…
A Moments Digression
To a dear friend: I am still here. We are still friends. It will all pass and our friendship will still be here. Always.