A Short Note
I need to explain. It is not so much the inability to get exercise that is depressing me about this cold weather. It is the lack of the freedom and exhilaration I feel when I am riding. I can’t get this when I ride an exercise bike or wind trainer. I can’t get it when I hike or walk. It is a feeling I only get when I ride.
I do not recall ever feeling the frustration with the weather that I have been feeling the last few weeks.
Not a fun feeling.
My weight bounced up over the last week. It also dropped. Then it bounced up again. Then I got myself figured out and got myself back to the plan and now it is going down steadily again.
Staying with the plan is critical for me. If I allow myself to stray I start to gain weight. I find that I really cannot allow myself the indulgences. When I do I gain weight and that is a frightening thing for me. Let’s be clear. I gained 4 pounds and saw 209 on the scale for the first time in a very long while. I still have not gone over my goal weight of 210 since I passed it last August but 209 is entirely too close for my comfort.
I am now back under 205.
This is as it should be. Plan. Execute Plan. Achieve (or maintain) Goal.
This was dinner tonight:
Roasted Kabocha and Butternut Squash
Roasted Sweet Potato
Sauté of Orange Sweet Pepper, Bok Choy and Spinach
My word it was good.
How I Feel
Physically I feel great. I am able to do things I could not have done a year and a half ago. I am lean. I am fit. I can walk ten miles, cycle fifty mile, run about 12 feet… Ok, so running is still a challenge for me.
My surgically repaired knee feel OK. Still some ligament pain but that is to be expected. The joint does not hurt and I have no issues with it when I cycle or hike…
My blood pressure is great and I am still working on getting off the meds entirely at some point. My heart rate is fantastic.
There isn’t much I can do about the rest of me. Fifty-two is 52. I am in great shape for a fellow who worked really hard at abusing his health for so many years.
Mentally…. I have my ups and downs. I am frustrated with the weather, my employment situation and assorted other things. I am wrestling with emotions as I watch my weight bounce, feel I am not getting in the workouts that I should and I constantly worry about falling down and gaining the weight…
So I am normal.
I have started reading a blog by a young woman who is just starting her Journey. She writes well and she writes from the heart. I enjoy reading it and I see in her so much of what I go through.
She thanked me for a few of my comments on her blog, thanking me specifically for being so positive.
This got me thinking.
Yes. I think I am positive. I rarely doubted that I would make my goal weight. I had confidence that I could set the goal, develop the plan and I could make it happen.
This is not to say that I did not struggle. If you have ready much of this blog I think you will have read posts about my struggles, both physical and emotional. This has not always been an easy thing. In fact it has rarely been easy.
In the face of the struggles though I have kept myself focused on the plan and the goal. Then Goal never changed: lose weight and become fit. The only thing that change was the target weight. I dropped it from 230 to 210. The plan changed quite a bit as I learned about my body, learned to eat better, learned to exercise. The plan changed but the goals remained. And that is where I am now.
Staying positive in the face of struggled and frustrations and fears.
Staying positive in the face of daunting odds.
Staying positive in the face of negativity.
Being positive is the critical thing. Getting support from friends and family. Tuning out the naysayers and trash talkers.
Being Positive that you are doing this for YOU for the right reasons and that you will succeed.
We all need a pep-talk no and then.
I just gave me one.