My Roller Coaster
When I started this Journey in December 2011 I really had no clue what I was getting in to. I didn’t know that I would soon start a blog and would expose every raw nerve to anyone who happened across my writings.
I didn’t know that emotions would play such a large part in the Journey. I didn’t realize it was a Journey at all at the time.
I started the Journey because I was fat and it bothered me to be fat. I felt awful all the time. I was physically uncomfortable all the time. It was only after I started the work to take off the weight that I started to really explore the emotions and psychology of all this.
In this blog I have shared with everyone who cared to read about it most of the emotions I have experienced as I traveled along. Al of the anger, fear, anxiety, depression, joy, pleasure, rapture, exultation and so on of this trip has been laid out before you.
I would say up days have been more common than down days but it is close. For each time I was overjoyed by an accomplishment, there would be a nearly offsetting day of depression or anxiety.
This journey has been a rocky one to be sure. It has also been overwhelmingly worthwhile.
As I have battled all of these ups and downs I have also explored the reasons for them.
I am working on putting these thoughts in to a blog post and I will post it soon.
The Weekend Trip
What had started out as a family trip to my brother’s family home I for the Memorial Weekend Cookout his family hosts each year turned in to a Father-Son weekend for the Younger one and me. With Missus down with a respiratory infection,we decided that I would take the younger one and Missus and the older one and the two hounds would stay home. Instead of leaving at silly o’clock Saturday morning the younger and I left Friday afternoon, pulling in to the hotel at 10:00 PM.
Instead of spending Saturday morning in the car, the younger and I were able to enjoy a relaxed yet light breakfast and then went to the Air and Space museum at Dulles International before heading off to the cookout.
One of the most satisfying aspects of the weight loss and the fitness has been the ability to do what I could not contemplate before. When all was said and done and the Younger and I had explored every nook and cranny of the museum, my FITBIT said we had walked a little over three and a half miles. Then we went to the cookout where I essentially stood or walked the entire day from 1:30 until we headed back to the hotel at 9:30.
To do this two years ago was simply not in the range of my abilities. I would not have been able to walk three plus miles and then stand and walk and climb stairs and chat and walk and stand and climb stairs… Barely sitting at all the entire day. Could not have done it. I would have been exhausted and in great discomfort.
It was easy yesterday.
I really enjoyed the museum. I loved the cookout. Spending the weekend with The Younger One? PRICELESS!
Controlling my eating at the cookout was a failure. I over-ate. By a bunch. I had brownies. I had a cupcake. I had a cookie. I had several bowls of vegetarian chili. I had two chicken skewers. I had some salads, many strawberries, etc. I did NOT have red meat or diet soda or regular soda or alcohol or a myriad of other not so good for me foods but what I ate I ate much of.
I think I had about 3500 calories yesterday and I am not really happy with my lack of discipline. I decided to allow myself the day of excess and to not beat myself up about it but today I beat myself up pretty good….
I did get up early this morning and do a mile + on the treadmill at the hotel and I have kept today’s calorie count below 2000. I did enjoy yesterday but giving in to temptation and eating to excess still frightens me.
Much of my conversation yesterday had to do with how much weight I have lost and how I did it. Some of the people there have not seen me in two years, most have not seen me in a year. Several did not recognize me until my Brother introduced me. One refused to believe I could have lost that much weight (we had never met before) until I showed him the before picture.
I enjoy the conversations. I truly do. Who does not like to hear the kudos and huzzahs? Still I am starting to feel like a one trick pony. It is as if I have nothing else to say… I have to work on this.
I guess it is natural for people to be curious about how and why. The how has always been easier for me to explain than the why. Silly as that sounds. The why is rather complicated. On the surface of course it is because being 100+ pounds over weight is unhealthy and uncomfortable and I hated it. But that is not what people are asking when they ask why. They are asking why did it become so important to you that you have been able to lose it and keep it off when so many fail in their efforts to lose it and most who do lose it can’t keep it off. What happened? Why is it working for you.
That is the harder question to answer because I don’t really know.
The cookout was a little smaller this year I think as the weather was cooler than normal for this time of year. It was still wonderful. Seeing my Nephews and my niece and their friends and the friends of my brother and his wife is always fun for me. Being so comfortable in the skin I am in made it much more fun.
My cousin the cardiologist was at the part y this year. He has not seen me in person in a couple of years though he has seen the pictures. His JOY at seeing the new lean me was palpable. When a cardiologist sings your praise it feels good.
So a weekend with The Younger One, a wonderful cookout, praise from friends and family and forgiving myself for over indulgence and getting right back on plan the next day and Sunday breakfast with my brothers family. A really wonderful weekend