A Fat Man's Journey (Working my way back…)

An Attempt to Journey from Fat to Fit in a Lifetime. Eat right, Eat less, Move more

Friday Thoughts

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Once-a-year Pizza

If you are going to do it…

Do it right.

In Parsippany, right up close to Boonton, there is an Italian Restaurant: Bevacqua’s Reservoir Tavern.  It has been around forever and is well-known in the area for the pizza.  I first went there some 48 years ago or so.  This, of course, only proves that I am old…

I love the pizza.  Chewy thin crust, cooked in a very hot oven giving the crust a nice char.  Delicious sauces, good cheese, fresh toppings…  You get the picture?

I don’t often eat pizza.  At one time it was a nearly daily part of my menu but no longer.  Because I love it so much I have little control when eating it so I avoid it almost entirely.

Last night was an exception.  PGB and I met at The Reservoir to mark the first anniversary of being below my goal weight of 210 pounds.  We met there one year ago when I reached the goal.  As we did last year, we ordered a large pie with peppers and onions.

Oh my…  It was so good.

I had two slices.  PGB had two or three and took the remainder home.

I sat there running rationalizations through my head trying to convince myself that having a third slice would be perfectly OK.

I didn’t give in to the rationalizations.  I was good.  I had my two slices.  I loved them.  It points to the risks I still face and why I limit having foods like pizza.  I simply would not be able to continue to control how much of it I ate if I allowed pizza to be a part of my menu more frequently.  Once a year is about the right amount for me.  I enjoy the pizza as a special treat.  I treasure the two slices.  I don’t end up on the slippery slope that might lead me to weight gain…

I would be perfectly happy for this to be a once a year tradition for PGB and me. Meet at the ‘Tavern in mid-August each year and have a couple of slices of Pepper and Onion Pizza.  It will mean that I am still below that goal weight.

My Weight

I still get very concerned when I step on the scale and I am suddenly two or three pounds up.  I know that it is a false weight gain in most cases: water or whatever still in the system.  I will scale back on the calories a little, watch everything carefully and make sure that the weight moved back down over the next few days.

This week has been like that.  My weight jumped over 205 for a couple of days and has now come back down.  This morning was 201 even.  This is what weight does.  I am sure I am no different from anyone else in this regard I just obsess over it more than most people.

At 201 the morning after two slices of pizza I am very happy.  It means to me that I regulated my calories very well yesterday.  I was careful with breakfast, careful with lunch and I was careful with my evening snack to make up for the 800 or so calories in the two slices of pizza.

This weekend I will be very busy.  I will ride to the bike shop for work and then probably ride home.  I may leave the house extra early so I can get in a 30 mile ride before work.  Then I am working a rest area for the Ramapo Rally bike tour on Sunday.  That will be a full day of activity and I will burn nearly as many calories as I would if I was in the ride.

By Monday I expect to be less than 200 pounds.

lap dogs

My Lap Dogs

By Labor Day I plan to be around 195.

Then my new target will be to stay between 195 and 200.  I have proven to myself that I can stay between 200 and 205.  195-200 is the right place for me to be with my weight and that is the target now.

With all the weight loss and all I must still have a comfy lap:

Big Bike Plans

Labor Day weekend is approaching.  It had been my plan to ride High Point to Cape May over the course of three days but those plans ran aground.  Now the plan is to work on Saturday and Sunday of that weekend, getting in rides in the morning, and then do either 75 or 100 miles on Monday.  The next weekend is the NYC Century and I am signed up for that.  So I may end up doing my first two Century rides on consecutive weekends, six days apart.

I am trying to get to 3000 miles for the year.  I am at 1806 miles for the year right now.  It will be a challenge to get another 1200 miles on the bike before the cold weather changes me from cyclist to hiker.

I have to pick up the pace.  I have actually slacked off a little with less evening rides and fewer miles on the weekends.  Last weekend I put only 58 miles or so.  This is not going to get me to my goals.  If all goes well I will get in 20 miles tonight.

I have been taking more hilly routes recently because I am trying to build up my hill climbing ability.  It is pretty poor.  The more you do it the more you can do it so hills are where it is at for me.  The route I plan for tonight will take me on a two-mile climb.  It used to kick me hard.  Now I am able to do it smoothly but slowly.  If I keep working at it I will get to where I am doing it less slowly…  Who knows, maybe someday I will be good at it…

Seeing Me

As I dressed for work at 4:00 AM this morning and I selected my jeans and T-shirt (very casual Friday) I grabbed my medium blue GET FIT MIT T-shirt.  It is a shirt I got for taking part in a fitness “challenge” with a team my friend NI helped put together.  The idea here was to report your fitness activities on their website over the course of several weeks.  I was diligent about it and I am proud of the work I did as part of the challenge.  It was fun and motivating.

The shirt is a large and it is a trim cut.  That is to say it isn’t a baggy T in the very least.  I used to run from shirts like this.  I was like many fat people.  I wanted baggy clothes.  I liked baggy for two reasons: comfort and I was under the delusion that the baggy clothes hid the fact that underneath the clothes there was a fat man.

get fitNow I wear trim cut shirts.

I caught reflection in the mirror and I had to admit that there was a very different body in that reflection.

I can’t say how I look to others but I like the changes in me.

I am not a handsome fellow but I have never been ugly.  Now with the weight off, my nose looks huge.  I am balding.  Well, I am nearly bald.  I have the wrinkles of a 52-year-old man.  I am amazed that with the weight loss I am not jowly at all.

Still, I like who I see in the mirror.  I see a trim man.  I see a fit man.  I also see a man who has changed in ways the mirror can only hint at in the reflection.

Reality

I still track everything I eat.  I record every bit of food, to the best of my ability to capture it, on the Loseit.com website or in the Loseit App on my phone.  I do this so it is harder to lie to myself.  I am forced to stay in reality if I record everything.  If I don’t record it I fall in to the trap of “forgetting” foods I have eaten and this becomes added calories and that becomes FAT.

I am thinking about this because of a conversation with a woman in my office.  She is a really nice woman and we work well together.  In our conversation over lunch or a cup of coffee my weight loss and fitness have come up and she put forth the opinion that I am “lucky” to be “able” to lose weight.

She tells me she doesn’t eat all day and still can’t lose weight.

She eats all day long.

This morning she ate a coffee cake.  She is having a bagel with cream cheese right now.

She will likely have lunch.  She will tell you she only ever has a salad for lunch.  This week we had Chinese for lunch.  Yesterday she had KFC.

She will tell you she hardly eats a thing.

I don’t track her food, mind you.  This is just what I have casually observed.

She simply does not realize how much she eats.

This is not at all unusual.

Weight loss experts will tell you to keep a food diary.  The reason is exactly as I described above.  1) We don’t realize how much we consume.  2) We lie to ourselves.

For me it is about staying grounded in reality.

I am a terrible food liar.  In the old days I would count ten cookies at two.  I wasn’t doing it on purpose.  I was deluding myself.  I would eat half a pizza and later tell you I had two slices.  I had myself convinced that I only had two.  Presented with the evidence I would realize that I did have ten cookies, I did have four slices…  I can remember Missus buying a tub of chocolate chip cookies and the second day I would go looking for them only to be told that had eaten nearly all of them and the last four the boys had eaten.

So I continue to log it all in to Loseit.com and I continue to use my Fitbit so I can’t lie to myself about my activity level.  That is the other area where self-deception will come in to play if I am not careful.  I cannot tell myself that I have walked 6 miles and burned 2500 calories with the Fitbit recording every step and tell me otherwise…

It is about staying attached to reality.

Peace.

4 thoughts on “Friday Thoughts

  1. Pizza is definitely one of my weaknesses. Last week when we made pizza for the gang at the cottage I somehow convinced myself that homemade pizza was less fattening. Hmmmm! Now the crust was ultra thin and non-existent in some spots (stuck to the pan) but I still ate two more slices than I intended to eat. It’s not like there was nothing else to eat. I made 3 healthy salads, which I also ate. I’m off to the cottage for a week, by myself. I know I’ll get back on track. It’s so much easier when you only have yourself to cook for…..not as much fun but definitely less stressful for me. I love reading your blog. It keeps me motivated, knowing that you don’t have to put the weight back on after losing it but you still have to work at it. Don’t I know that. Keep writing.

    • And Work at it we do!

      I make homemade pizza for the boys. I make the crust and season the sauce, shred the cheese…. I won’t eat it because I have NO control….

  2. We got there just in time. The Reservoir Tavern has a tradition of shutting down completely for a two-week vacation. It starts this year on Sunday. Glad we didn’t miss out!

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