What I didn’t know.
Two years ago today I was in a funk. I usually am in a funk this time of year. Short days. Dark. Cold.
I didn’t know that my funk would get deeper. I didn’t know two years ago that I would have an epic visit from the Black Dog.
I remember December 23, 2011 because I had a half day at work and when I got home I was trying to get some work done around the house and it was not going well at all. I remember arguing with Missus because I needed her to pick up ingredients for the breads I would bake the next day for our friends holiday party and I remember arguing over whether or not Missus and the Oldest would go to the party or not.
I didn’t know that my mood would only get darker.
What I didn’t know that day was that I was one day away from hitting bottom. I was certain that my mood would lift when I went to the party and saw old friends and enjoyed good food and received rave reviews for my breads…. I was certain I would have a great day on December 24. I thought I would only have to weather the 23rd.
What I didn’t know on December 23, 2011 could fill volumes (or a blog).
The biggest thing that I didn’t know was that in one day I would hit the bottom. I didn’t know that I would hit a point of feeling so badly about myself, where I was in life, in my health, in my ability to function. I thought the 23rd was bad. I had no clue how much worse it would be for the next two days.
Amazing what stay with you.
I rode my bike on Saturday. A short ride, 10 miles or so. Enjoyed it tremendously. Getting out on the road on a 55 degree day in December in North Jersey is a rare thing. The feeling of the bike on the road… Wonderful. There is little to rival the feeling of cycling and being free of the earth in my way.
The ride wasn’t perfect. A minor difficulty with the bike kept the ride shorter than originally planned. It was quickly corrected and I hoped to ride again Sunday but it rained and I am not a huge fan or wet roads…
Riding in Late December. I would not have predicted this. I believed that riding below 50 degrees was too cold for me. Now I am planning a ride for Christmas Day when the forecast calls for mid-20’s. I am not sure if I am dedicated or insane but I am sure it is something I want to do.
It rained. It played with me, the weather did. It rained at ride time and that kept me from going out and then it sort of cleared and there was even a hint of sun and then it rained and…. Well, you get the picture.
I worked at the Shop on Sunday. I sold a bike to a fellow who was buying it for his 32-year old learning disabled brother. He didn’t go for the least expensive bike. He didn’t even try to find the least expensive. We talked, we figured it out and he bought his brother a nice mountain bike. The fellow wanted it unassembled because that is something they like to do together. He took the assembled one when he realized just what is involved in properly setting up a bike. After leaving the store he and his girlfriend were on their way to the home improvement store to buy PVC pipe and fittings so they could build a box around the bike and wrap it for his brother to open on Christmas morning.
The majority of our customers, 99%, are wonderful people. It is fun to work with them on meeting their needs and there is usually a good story behind their interest in bikes.
This young man and his girlfriend buying this bike for the brother… This is a story that will stay with me a while and will put a smile on my face every time I think of it.
Christmas is not my family’s holiday and I can be pretty cynical about the entire season. Yesterday I sensed deep love between brothers and it touched me.