This is my Diary
This blog is my diary. I write about me. I write about what frightens me, inspires me, confuses me, compels me, enlightens me, entraps me…
So I use the word I a great deal when I write. I use the word ME when I write.
Because this is my diary.
This is a blog about my Journey. It is about my efforts and my tribulations and trials.
No, I have not discovered the cure for a dread disease. I have only lost weight and (thus far) kept it off.
I will continue to write about it.
When the mood strikes, when I feel I have something to say. When I need to say something.
Then I will write.
If what I write means something to you, if you find some pleasure in reading this blog, if it help you or encourages you at some level, then I am glad.
If not, if this blog bothers you at some level, if your life is so hollow and sad that you need to read the writings of others and find fault and then insult, degrade or demean, then please just go away.
Because this is my diary and if I let you and others read it, if I find energy in sharing this part of who I am, then that is all that matters for me.
Is it the 12th already?
Time does go by quickly.
I reached my goal weight on August 8th 2012. It was only 226 days after I had started this Journey. I am now more than two years since I reached the goal weight and I am still holding the weight down. I am still riding the bike, getting the exercise, eating right, staying trim.
Time for the annual pizza. Need to find the time. Work is killing me….
Am I proud? YOU BET. I am proud, I am pleased, I am overjoyed at the results and the continued travel along this road.
I am getting to the point where I am accustomed to being lean. I am accustomed to being healthy. I love the way this all feels and I am not giving up this feeling at all.
Four days past the anniversary.
Yeah, gotta find the time for that pizza.
I rode 100 miles last week. That is not a remarkable achievement by any means. It isn’t even close to the most I have ridden in one week. It is however important to me. It is important because it took so long to get there this year.
Cold and wet spring. Work. All the other reasons, valid or not, played in to limiting my total miles.
Getting to 100 this week was fun and satisfying.
I need to get another few hundred in this month to be ready for the 100 miles in one day that I plan to ride September 7.
Missus said this when I told her I finally got in a 100 mile week this year:
“to think how hard it was just to do that first ten miles three years ago”.
The more miles I put on the bike the greater the distance from where I was.
This is why it is so important to me.
And one or two words
I have spoken very openly about the visits of The Black Dog, my term for depression. I have dealt with minor (relatively speaking) depression for as long as I can remember. One summer as a child I barely left the house to play but a few times. I spent the summer sitting at the picture window trying to convince myself to go out and play games with my friends. It was that summer that would convince my parents to send me to my Grandparents home each summer.
To this day I deal with it.
There are triggers for me but it is not something that can be fixed with encouraging words, platitudes, hugs…
For me it is time and rest and then it passes.
For others it takes far more.
Depression is not something to be taken lightly. It is not about realizing how good life is and cheering up.
Depression is serious and it has to be treated seriously.
If someone you know battles the Black Dog of depression help them get the help they need. Professional help. Medical help.