I sometimes look back at my early blog posts. I am surprised sometimes by what I read. I was pretty raw as a writer and working on finding my voice as a blogger. One theme does come through pretty clearly: I was taking this all one day at a time.
Each day stood on its own. What did I eat this morning and for lunch and what would I eat for dinner. I Planned all day long for that day. Each day standing on its own.
This is how I am approaching it again. If I know I am likely to have a larger than normal dinner I know I have to scale back what I eat earlier in the day. I don’t think, “Tomorrow I will have to burn this off”. I got in to that mind set for awhile. That is how I gained back some weight.
PGB used to remark as we sat down with the group to dinner that he knew how I had prepared for that evening with friends. He knew I had cut back that day preparing for that night.
I think this is an important point. Each day has to stand on its own. I can’t think in terms of burning of the excess calories in the future. I have to prepare to avoid having excess calories.
Today was one more day of doing exactly that. Right now I am about 800 calories below my daily budgeted max. This is good. I have room for a light snack tonight. I will be in good shape for the day.
Tomorrow will be another day that stands alone.
There will be a great many of those days…
Understanding the weight gain.
I had it under control. The weight was holding steady between 200 and 210. Five percent is not a bad fluctuation. I was eating right, eating less, moving more.
Then I wasn’t. Then it wasn’t under control.
I have been trying to understand the reasons without letting them become excuses.
That isn’t easy.
The shoulder injury certainly factored into it but not for the reasons you may think. Yes, I was forced to a level of activity that was not supporting the weight maintenance but that is a copout. When I injured my knee two years earlier I continued to lose weight even though I couldn’t hike or cycle. I carefully monitored my food intake, carefully watched what and when I ate. I was on it!
No, the lower activity level is an excuse, not a reason.
I got tired. That much I can tell you. Watching everything, counting everything. Sitting at dinner and entering the calories of everything. Never indulging. Never letting down my guard for even a day and I became exhausted. Even writing this blog became exhausting.
So I stopped. Not all at once. I wrote less often. I would forget to enter the foods. Soon weeks went by and I wasn’t watching…
And I was depressed. Personal issues. A friendship that drifted off. Job issues. Home issues. And the pain in the shoulder and the depression brought on by the inactivity.
I still have much to understand about all of this.
Food eased all those pains…
It brought about others.
Much to work through.